I remember a conversation I had with two coworkers not that long ago. I was waiting tables at a local bar for some extra cash a few months after Loren and I were married. (weddings = expensive) The night was early and, being that we were a speak easy bar, we had a few hours to kill before the crowd rolled in.
The two gentlemen, one a bartender and the other the security guard, were chatting about their respective love lives and the drama that came along with them. One was seeing an ex on and off - while they were both seeing other people - and he was frustrated because they both wanted more out of their rekindled relationship, yet both also had trust issues. The other’s wife was expecting their first baby, their last attempt to salvage their failing marriage - she had cheated on him.
When it came my turn to share relationship horror stories, I just shrugged. “Being with my husband was the easiest thing I’ve ever done,” I told them.
Truly, it was. From the very moment I met my husband he treated me respect, honored my wishes, was upfront and honest with me. Within two weeks of meeting him he told me he wanted to be my boyfriend, and we never looked back. In the six years we’ve been together there was never the threat of another person, never a lack of trust, never a moment of even miscommunication, never that “back and forth” that often comes with relationships; we just connected and we almost immediately settled into a relationship routine. Our first “date” was actually doing laundry together! Oh college…
My coworkers just stared for a second until one finally said, “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t have a relationship like that.” The other agreed. “That’s so boring,” he replied. “I need some drama.” They both nodded.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation lately as Loren and I celebrated our one year anniversary back in May. We really do have a pretty boring relationship, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Like I said, our relationship has been easy from day one. More than that however, our day to day activities are pretty boring.
Now, I’m not saying we’re bored, but we’re people. We have careers, responsibilities, a laundry list of things to do, and actual laundry that piles up. Here’s the thing though: doing all those “boring” things aren’t quite so boring with him. A trip to the car wash isn’t so bad cause we do it together. Sitting at the DMV? Yeah, that sucks, but I have his shoulder to lean on as we laugh at funny videos on our phones. Call us crazy, but for the last six years we’ve even done our grocery shopping together. (clingy much?)
Don’t get me wrong however, we have fun in our relationship too! We’ve taken countless trips together, we have a wonderful social life, we go clubbing, and somehow even slow dancing in our living room is an adventure. But neither one of us brought any drama into the relationship that made it extra “exciting,” as my co workers liked to put it. We were free to focus on having exciting times together rather than live in a relationship bubble built of uncertainty ready to burst at any time.
Truth be told, my husband’s “boring” way of life is the reason I married him. I don’t have time for drama, and neither does he! Sure, that crazy ex girlfriend was probably a lot of fun, as I’m sure was that pregnant cheating wife. Honestly, I have no clue how those stories ended, but I know this: My husband and I aren’t worrying about the other person. We don’t have to. Our boring relationship allows us focus on what's really important: our relationship.
I told Loren the other day I was happy that I married “the boring one.” He gave me a pretty perplexed look. We were driving two hours away to pick up a computer part, another one of our mundane tasks. I didn’t think twice about accompanying him because that stuff just isn’t boring with him. Just another time for him to reach over and grab my hand while he drives - a silent reminder of the boring security he gives me every day. He smiled when I explained.